What I learned from the monkey bars.

Last night I had one of those very vivid dreams that put me back into my childhood so completely that I could have sworn my adult life must have been a dream.

The experience I was reliving must have when I was 6 or 7 years old. I found myself standing on a wood deck with a row of bars stretched out before me way above my head. My heart was pounding and I have to admit I was a little afraid of what I was about to do.

I had seen a lot of people succeed at the task before me and many of them told me its easy just jump up and do it. I also believed that it may be easy for them but I had some very bad experiences in the past when trying new things like this so it I felt like I may not be up to the task.

As I stood there weighing the risk/benefit of the task before me I decided I just wasn’t up to it, stepped down and sulked away feeling embarrassed by my failure. The day stretched on and I couldn’t get my mind of the failure and the way I had let something that was meant to be fun beat me. I felt terrible, embarrassed, insignificant, like I was not as good as everyone else and I hated the feeling.

After a little probing from my big brother I became determined to take the challenge on, I had to do this to prove to myself that I could and to others that they were not better than I was (by the way I now realize they could care less because they were too busy worrying about their own short comings).

So I found myself standing on that platform again, staring at those bars trying to muster the guts to jump off and trust my abilities to make it happen. After a long time I finally closed my eyes (blush) stuck my arms up and jumped with all I had. Relief washed over me as I felt the bar hit my hands and then my weight settle in, I had done it I was hanging there. Now, I just had to open my eyes and take the next step.

If I would have known the situation would get so much more intense once I got a hold of the first bar I am not sure I would have taken that first leap because as I opened my eyes I realized I had made a bit of a mistake. By jumping up and holding on to the first bar I had allowed myself to lose my forward momentum. I dangled there like an idiot until my grip gave out and I fell to the ground.

That fall was important to me because I quickly learned that I would survive it. So I went back up on the platform, took forever to make the first leap again, caught the bar with both hands and freaked out again when I realized I had to let go with one hand to move forward. Are you nuts, let go with one hand while swinging forward holding and trying to hold on to the other, I pictured myself over rotating and landing on my head effectively breaking my neck. This may seem like a silly thought for someone this young but ask my brother, this is who I have always been and has earned me the name of “safety patrol” amongst my snowmobiling friends.

So again I dangled there until I lost my grip and fell to the ground, grrrr. I was determined to not walk away again because of the way it made me feel so I forced myself back around, climbed back up and prepared my leap again. This time I did something a little different and actually planned my next move after the first leap. So when I jumped and grabbed that first bar I immediately reached forward for the next one (eyes tightly closed) and to my surprise I caught it. It was great except that I didn’t let go of the first one so I now dangled between the two stuck as can be. I fell to the ground again and worked my plan to include the next move and the next and finally found my way successfully to the other side.

I know that conquering the monkey bars seems like a pretty silly thing but a lot of the most important steps in overcoming difficult situations can be learned from things that are very simple and seem somewhat insignificant at the time. Lessons I learned from this experience include:

- Sometimes situations force us to close our eyes, trust ourselves and leap.
- You can’t move forward without first letting go of the past.
- Momentum is a key to successfully navigating our challenges. (You have to keep swinging forward)
- It is a guarantee that we will experience some failure. Do you give up and walk away or dust your pants off and hit it again.
- The greatest rewards come after some trials forcing us to stretch our current abilities. (The other platform felt like heaven when my feet finally hit it)
- And most importantly sometimes you just need someone to boost you up and give you the confidence to move forward.

Finally its important to remember that the difficult and challenging parts of life are the ones that we learn the most from. More importantly its how we handle ourselves during these difficult times that makes us great.

Love, Dad

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