Be Brave always

I think this picture says it all and in my humble opinion is full of tools that are used against us by others both seen and unseen to hold us back from being all we can be.

One of the main things we have to master in this life is to be brave always. We will all be faced by challenges and times when we fill like we are not up to the hard times we are up against. It is easy to allow ourselves to fall into self pity and wonder why is this happening to me or why we have to face the problems we do.
It would be ridiculous to think that our lives are going to work out so smoothly that you will not face hard and even tragic times. In fact its during the tragic times that we learn the most and grow to become better people.

Greatness is established by how we approach our challenges and what we do with our attitudes during them. Your life is full of choices and the decisions you make will not only define who you are. They are going to define the type of life you live. Problems are inevitable, the truth of the situation is that you can approach them with dread, disdain and fear or you can be happy, appreciate all that you do have and recognize that life is full of seasons and this bad one will pass just like all the others.

One decision leads you to negative emotions, bad attitudes and hurting those around you. The other leads to respect, confidence and ultimately happiness. Regardless of the route you choose the problem exists until you overcome it so why not keep your mind and attitude in a productive place and approach your challenges in a brave, confident and enthusiastic fashion.

Love,

Dad

What I learned from the monkey bars.

Last night I had one of those very vivid dreams that put me back into my childhood so completely that I could have sworn my adult life must have been a dream.

The experience I was reliving must have when I was 6 or 7 years old. I found myself standing on a wood deck with a row of bars stretched out before me way above my head. My heart was pounding and I have to admit I was a little afraid of what I was about to do.

I had seen a lot of people succeed at the task before me and many of them told me its easy just jump up and do it. I also believed that it may be easy for them but I had some very bad experiences in the past when trying new things like this so it I felt like I may not be up to the task.

As I stood there weighing the risk/benefit of the task before me I decided I just wasn’t up to it, stepped down and sulked away feeling embarrassed by my failure. The day stretched on and I couldn’t get my mind of the failure and the way I had let something that was meant to be fun beat me. I felt terrible, embarrassed, insignificant, like I was not as good as everyone else and I hated the feeling.

After a little probing from my big brother I became determined to take the challenge on, I had to do this to prove to myself that I could and to others that they were not better than I was (by the way I now realize they could care less because they were too busy worrying about their own short comings).

So I found myself standing on that platform again, staring at those bars trying to muster the guts to jump off and trust my abilities to make it happen. After a long time I finally closed my eyes (blush) stuck my arms up and jumped with all I had. Relief washed over me as I felt the bar hit my hands and then my weight settle in, I had done it I was hanging there. Now, I just had to open my eyes and take the next step.

If I would have known the situation would get so much more intense once I got a hold of the first bar I am not sure I would have taken that first leap because as I opened my eyes I realized I had made a bit of a mistake. By jumping up and holding on to the first bar I had allowed myself to lose my forward momentum. I dangled there like an idiot until my grip gave out and I fell to the ground.

That fall was important to me because I quickly learned that I would survive it. So I went back up on the platform, took forever to make the first leap again, caught the bar with both hands and freaked out again when I realized I had to let go with one hand to move forward. Are you nuts, let go with one hand while swinging forward holding and trying to hold on to the other, I pictured myself over rotating and landing on my head effectively breaking my neck. This may seem like a silly thought for someone this young but ask my brother, this is who I have always been and has earned me the name of “safety patrol” amongst my snowmobiling friends.

So again I dangled there until I lost my grip and fell to the ground, grrrr. I was determined to not walk away again because of the way it made me feel so I forced myself back around, climbed back up and prepared my leap again. This time I did something a little different and actually planned my next move after the first leap. So when I jumped and grabbed that first bar I immediately reached forward for the next one (eyes tightly closed) and to my surprise I caught it. It was great except that I didn’t let go of the first one so I now dangled between the two stuck as can be. I fell to the ground again and worked my plan to include the next move and the next and finally found my way successfully to the other side.

I know that conquering the monkey bars seems like a pretty silly thing but a lot of the most important steps in overcoming difficult situations can be learned from things that are very simple and seem somewhat insignificant at the time. Lessons I learned from this experience include:

- Sometimes situations force us to close our eyes, trust ourselves and leap.
- You can’t move forward without first letting go of the past.
- Momentum is a key to successfully navigating our challenges. (You have to keep swinging forward)
- It is a guarantee that we will experience some failure. Do you give up and walk away or dust your pants off and hit it again.
- The greatest rewards come after some trials forcing us to stretch our current abilities. (The other platform felt like heaven when my feet finally hit it)
- And most importantly sometimes you just need someone to boost you up and give you the confidence to move forward.

Finally its important to remember that the difficult and challenging parts of life are the ones that we learn the most from. More importantly its how we handle ourselves during these difficult times that makes us great.

Love, Dad

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Its time to quit squandering your life away!

Fortunes can be lost and regained, love can be rekindled and friends reunited, however once time passes it can never be recovered and your greatest regrets will nearly all coincide with time that was mishandled or simply lost in indifference.

Our natural instinct seems to be to live our lives from one major event to the next. All the time in between these big events seems to be turned into a chore we must endure in order to reach that next great occasion.

The sad truth of living your life this way is that the really exciting parts of life are few and far between. This leaves us wasting the majority of our time here wishing our life away in order to get to the next "Exciting" event.

It seems silly to waste your precious time drudging through the day to day always wishing life will hurry by so you can have those exciting moments. Its interesting to watch people who have really had to face their own mortality. They often seem to have an ability to gain pleasure and fulfillment from the simple yet most important things life has to offer.

Sure that next vacation or promotion will be exciting and fun but they will do very little to fill your heart with the joy and happiness you will receive from spending time appreciating your family or doing something to make others lives a little easier.

The next time you find yourself wishing life would hurry along so that you can have that next fun event please take a moment and connect with a loved one or extend a hand to those in need. You will find that time passes much faster and that your greatest memories are actually the time you spent in between the "big events" of life.

Journal Entry- The Killer Goose!

I imagine when you think of your top 5, 10 or even 50 scariest animals a goose finds a way to miss the cut, right?

Well grab that bowl of popcorn and snuggle up closer to that loved one because the following experience will show the real side of these terrible birds.

It must have been the summer of either '02 0r '03, the day was warm and I remember feeling like the world was really turning my way. I spent the drive into our Murray office reflecting on some big steps we had made with the Web Design project we were test marketing and felt we had found our niche. Like I mentioned the day was warm and as I stepped out of my car I remember hearing the birds singing and thinking that life is really good. Now in my life it seems like the times when I am feeling this way there is always a reminder or two that life is meant to hold challenges and that we need to stay on our toes to survive.

On this particular day that reminder came in the form of a huge goose and I mean this thing was really, really big. So as I started making my way through the parking lot listening to the birds singing and considering all the positive things in my life I noticed this enormous goose standing about 20 yards away from me.

My first thought was "wow that's cool, what a huge goose. My second thought was "holy crap that things trying to kill me!" I will never know if their was something in the way I looked at it or if it just had issues with really fat guys in a suit and tie but whatever it was didn't matter because this beast was running, flapping and squawking at me with an anger I haven't seen before or since.

So I have heard that when faced with life threatening (Ha Ha) situations your body floods with adrenaline and you mind kicks into fight or flight mode. So here is where I would like to tell you that I turned around and stared that goose down and later served goose to my family while regaling them with the story of Man over goose.

Like I said that is what I would like to tell you, unfortunately the this blog is about truth so here is how it really went down. Remember the scene, I am a large man (okay fat) dressed in a black suit complete with dress shoes walking through a parking lot with a stupid smile on my face as I contemplate dominating the web design world. As I listen to the birds sing I notice this goose about 20 yards away and think "Wow that's cool, what a huge goose." quickly followed by "holy crap that things trying to kill me!" My body gets an adrenaline boost and its time to.... run as fast as my fat body will let me.

And run I did my friends, I can still hear my slick bottom dress shoes slipping on the asphalt as I pushed off to get away from this fierce beast. I can still see the look in that things beady little eyes as it chased after me with wings flapping and beak squawking out its murderous cries. Step by step I made my way to the sidewalk and down towards the office door, step by step this mass of squawking and flapping was gaining on me and I felt for sure my time was up. Just as I started to give up hope I reached the doors and dived through slamming the doors to ensure my safety.

The goose was still after me and stared me down through the glass daring me to take even the smallest step out that door. Yeah right, I was safe at this point and was going to make sure I stayed that way. I quickly went to my office and sent an email out to the company sharing my harrowing tale and warning them of the dangers that lurked right outside our office.

I have a copy of that email in my office and I will add it next week when I get back into the office,


Just a warning whether the goose is a real one or involves your underwear they are rarely a good thing.

Love,

Dad

Grudges and negative feelings lead to a long lonely road.

One thing you can be certain of in life is that people are going to do things to either disappoint, anger or offend you. We live in a world that is full of many different people with different points of views and very different experiences. To hope that you will go through this life without either being hurt or hurting others is unreasonable so it is imperative that we learn how to forgive and how to ask to be forgiven for our own missteps or shortsightedness.

When people offend or hurt you it is easy to let hard feelings creep into your life and allow negativity to over ride your ability to look at the situation with fairness and a proper perspective. When negative feelings fill your heart it is important to take a moment and reflect on the situation before you respond to avoid saying something that you may later forget. Some of the questions you need to consider include: Is it possible that they really see things the way they are conveying them? How important is this person to me, should I kill the relationship or do I need to work through the issue? Have I hurt this person in a way that might cause them to strike out at me? Is it possible that they do not intend the remark to be hurtful?

If the concern is with someone that you love or need to continue your relationship then it is imperative that you act. Too often we decide to just let it go and move on, unfortunately this plan will only allow resentment and anger to build over time until emotions finally win over and relationships are damaged further. It is far better to sit down with the person and explain how you feel about the situation so you can talk through the problem and truly put the problem behind you.

Remember that your friends and family are the most important things you will ever gain in this life. Don't allow silly misunderstandings and immature frustrations ruin your most cherished relationships.

Love,

Dad

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FInding Joy in your life- Stop complaining already.

Sometimes I really miss the early years of my life when everything seemed possible and I believed that the world held only good.

Of course this perspective has to change as we grow up and see the dirty reality of so many parts of life. As time passes it becomes easier and easier to become discouraged or even depressed by the tragedies and disappointments of everyday life.

On top of the daily challenges we seem to be compelled to always compare our lives and situations to others who have it better than us. We wonder why they have the nice house and cars while we "endure" life with the '"meager" things we have earned or been blessed with. In fact it seems like the tendency to look up rather than down has little to do with income bracket or position in life. No matter how good people have it they seem to always be able to find someone with a life better than theirs.

I have to admit that I spent the majority of my first 34 years on this planet looking up and wondering the same things. I had the same feelings until I spent my first week in Haiti and realized just how desperate and disheartening life can really be. From the very moment we arrived in Port Au Prince I knew my perspective in life would never be the same again. I quickly realized that even the most humble circumstances in the U.S. would be viewed as living like a king for most in this impoverished land.

I witnessed people that were living in the most desperate conditions where food and water are a constant battle. Children are dying from starvation and people constantly get sick from something as simple as a glass of water that is often filled from filthy gutters.

It took me too long to gain perspective and understand where happiness can always be found. So many chase happiness by shopping, drinking, drugs and constantly moving from relationship to relationship. These things may have the ability to make you happy for an instant but will do very little to help you gain the true and sustainable joy that comes from helping others.

Nothing will make you feel as good as grabbing the hand of someone who is struggling and providing them the assistance they need to either improve themselves or simply survive. I personally will never forget the feeling of holding children that were literally dying in my arms, it simply broke my heart. I will also never forget the feeling of signing the first of many checks going to the orphage that have been so generously donated by my staff.

As you focus on helping people who are in more difficult circumstances than your own will help you keep perspective and go through your life with a full heart knowing that you are doing good things with your time. Love is found in service and opening our arms and hearts to people who are less fortunate than we are.

Find a cause, find someone to help or at very least look for little actions you can do to make someone elses life a little better each and every day.

Love,

Dad

Priorities- Its easy to let other responsibilites ruin what really matters.

I could write more than you would ever want to read on the importance of prioritizing your life properly but I will try to limit myself to those things that mean the most in life.

Money sucks, the constant pursuit of money whether it be for survival or the ever popular pursuit of happiness consumes many lives and destroys marriages and families. As you go forward building your careers it is easy to allow yourself to become consumed by your professional life and justify your neglect of your family as the necessary side effect of being a good provider. While providing for your family is certainly a huge priority in life it is important to remember that your family needs your love and understanding far more than all the toys money can buy.

As I reflect back on my life I have a hard time remembering the stuff I so cherished back then. the things I remember are so much more important and guide my life today even after 20+ years. I remember going to work with my dad and spending hours on the road talking about everything you could imagine. The hours we spent recounting the history of a certain area or even discussing the impact a person could have by going back in time and having something as simple as a watch with them. During these precious moments in my life I never really cared about the fact that we didn't have a lot of money. In fact stopping at a gas station and microwaving a really bad burrito just added to the experience and to be honest every now and then I heat one of those gut bombs up and get feel happy as I recount the time we spent together.

My mom has always tried to make time for each of us as well. The truth is being the mother of six "Aitken's" requires a woman with the talents and love that only my mom could offer. We are a very demanding group who seem to think we are entitled to a bit more than is really deserved. As I look back now having kids of my own I think I understand a little better how difficult it must have been to keep up with us all and stay positive during difficult financial times and the certain loneliness she must have felt as dad spent weeks away working to keep our family moving forward.

I can't imagine how hard it must have been to be in a small town hundreds of miles from your family trying to keep up with six very active kids all by yourself. The things I remember is a mom who never complained to us about it. I remember a mother that never involved us in the financial struggles all families seem to go through and parents who always took their arguments to a private place where we couldn't overhear. My parents have always put their kids first by either sacrificing their own wants to pay for little league or drill team to making sure we felt like we had everything in the world even when times were difficult.

The true blessings of my parents properly prioritizing their lives is the fact that my family is still as close as they come. Their sacrifices taught us that family is the single most important thing in life and that we all have a responsibility to look out for each other. Their influence will affect Aitken's and others for generation after generation as grand kids and great grand kids and even great great grand kids follow the parenting pattern they have set.

I cannot express to you kids the importance of staying close with each other. I have no greater friends than my family and know that no matter what comes my way in life I have a huge team behind me ready to help me get through it.

Our inheritance is in our never ending love for each other and the example your grandma and grandpa Aitken set in how to properly prioritize your life and how to really raise a family that loves each other.

Life is full of distractions including work, money, play and the everyday stresses of just making it through the day. Your grandparents have set a wonderful example of properly addressing those concerns but making sure that they keep the real purpose and priorities in life in focus.

Kolbie, Kaleb,Payton, Nerlande and Yonelson, I want you to know that my brothers and sisters are the most precious friends I have. I am very proud of each and everyone of them.

Your Aunt April is one of the most loving, creative and artistic people I have ever known. So many times through my life she has stepped in and made things possible when I most desperately needed them. The amazing thing is that it didn't matter if it was something as insignificant as a Halloween costume or as important as her last few dollars she has always been willing to give whatever she had to others when they needed it. Kids, take time to learn charity and kindness toward others from her. She has always been such a huge part of my life and I hope that as we all go forward she will continue to be a huge part of yours as well.

Your Uncle Jeremy has always been my hero as big brothers have a tendency to be. he is a wonderful example of determination and will never fail to be there when one of us needs him. He is amazingly talented both with his hands and his mind and has blown me away with his ability to grow and learn things most people never understand. I really don't know that you will find another person who can go out into his garage and completely fabricate a motorcycle on the weekend and then go into the office and perform as one of the most talented and capable President/COO's of a 20+ million dollar business in the world. Your Uncle Jer is one of the most amazing examples of never giving up and not setting limits on yourself that you will ever find. He fought his way from a set of circumstances that would have spelled doom for almost everyone and has achieved more than most ever will. When all the world would have predicted failure he built himself into an amazing success.

Your Aunt Elisa has a capacity to love that has always amazed me. She is simply one of the very strongest people I have ever met and that is one of the reasons we have asked her to be your guardians if anything ever happens to mom and me. Her ability to love, thrive and work to improve herself through whatever challenges life throws at her is exactly the example we would want you to follow as you work to grow into the men and women we hope you will be. Aunt Eli also has the ability to love everyone as if they were her own and we know she would make sure you had everything you needed and all that we dreamed you would have.

I have always been amazed at the natural talents and abilities that your uncle Mike has. All of those amazing abilities have paled compared to the man he has proven to be since his coma. I don't know that any of us will really understand all that he has and will have to go through to regain the level of performance he once had. I can tell you however that Mikey has carried himself in a way that can only be described as noble and I find myself having another hero brother in my life. I hope you can remember the fact that Mikey never seemed to say why me or back down from the very difficult tasks of learning to walk, talk and even swallow again. I hope you remember how he stayed determined to be a champion in all he does including every single difficult step of this journey. If I tried to tell you that I could have been half the man your uncle Mike has been through something as difficult as this I would simply be a liar. Look to your uncle Mike to learn how to win, watch how he gets up and tries again no matter how many times a jump, life or even a coma tries to knock him down. He is a champion and you can be too if you learn to never give up, Mikey has mastered the never give up attitude and I hope you all learn to win from him.

And last but not least is your Aunt Carrie. I have always felt that Carrie was a little too sweet and kind for this world. She has one of the most sweet and pure hearts you will ever meet. She is incredibly talented in music and art allowing her to be the only member of my family to excel at playing an instrument. I always felt like she deserved a trophy like Mikey for her performances and hope she understands how proud I was watching her play on stage. She is a perfect example of love and acceptance and how you should carry yourself in this life. Take the time to learn tolerance and forgiveness from Carrie as she is the best example of those two traits I have ever met.

As you can see my brothers and sisters are not only amazing in their own rights but create an unbelievably strong team when all their talents are brought together. You are from an extremely strong family and there is a lot of responsibility that comes with being an Aitken. The great thing is that those responsibilities are also the greatest blessings you will ever receive in life. You are responsible to each other and for looking out for each other. You have to be examples of love, kindness and an example to the rest of the world on how one should conduct their life.

I love all of you so much and don't worry about you becoming the people you are meant to be. You are all very amazing people with talents that will take you very far.

Remember that prioritizing your life properly will allow you to remain happy through even the most challenging times in life.

Love,

Dad.

Mentors- The shortcut to success.

Some get caught up in the idea that they want to figure everything out for themselves. They hold on to a dream of breaking their own trail and finding success without the help of others.

While there is a lot of satisfaction that can be taken from this approach to life there is a better way to go about it. Mentors have been critical in my life, they have taught me so many things that took them years to learn and I have had the opportunity to jump ahead in my abilities and knowledge by piggybacking my ideas on top of their experience and guidance. You would do well to find mentors for every area of your life but especially when preparing to become a parent and in your career.

Mentors are people who have been successful in the areas you are just starting out in and people who are willing to share that knowledge with you. You can go at life pounding your head on the wall to figure out a problem or have a mentor show you where the door is. You can risk making some terrible mistakes raising our children or refer to a mentor to get a more experienced point of view.

The quickest way to find success is to reach a hand out to those who are already there and convince them to teach you all they know. You also have a responsibility to give that same hand up when people look to you for your experience and guidance.

Remember that we are all in this together.

Love,

Dad

Procrastination will destroy your life and steal your happiness.

Life is full of difficult problems and jobs that we really don't want to do. Our natural tendency is to avoid the difficult tasks and put them off over and over again until we are finally forced to face them or suffer consequences worse than the difficulties the job entails.

This attitude of procrastination and our constant desire to avoid the challenges in life does nothing but further complicate problems and will even increase your stress level and destroy your ability to enjoy life.

Procrastination and avoiding problems or difficult tasks will inevitably lead to stress, anxiety and pressures that wear you down and destroy happiness. Think about the times in your life when you had to do something you didn't want to do.

Almost without fail the process of dealing with difficult jobs or assignments follows the same course. It starts with the stress and worry of tackling the issue until you finally can't take it anymore and just get it done. You experience some discomfort and unhappiness while completing the task and then always feel much better after it is complete.

The amazing thing about this process is that the end result doesn't matter. The situation can work out wonderfully or some of the worst results possible may become reality. The fact is that either way you will feel better once you put the situation behind you and are now empowered to either move on or enjoy the fact that the job is no longer hanging over your head.

The hardest part of addressing a difficult situation is taking the first step. Generally once we are in the process of actually doing the work we realize that it was not as bad as we thought and often regret not handling it earlier because of the stress and pressure we have endured.

One of the keys to being happy is having the guts to tackle the tough parts of life first. If you have a job to do or a conversation to hold that you really don't want to complete you should make it a priority to clear off your To Do list as your very first action.

Allowing yourself to endure stress, pressure and dread in order to avoid a problem or particular job is self defeating and ultimately robs you of your life and happiness.

Now get out there and get it done.

Love,

Dad

Look all you want but sooner or later you have to leap.

Your life will be filled with decisions, some of them are very simple and have little if any impact on your life. These decisions range from which soda to have or where to eat lunch. Others will be a lot more important and have lifelong repercussions. How you handle the big decisions will steer the course of your life

It is critical to take the time to research your big decisions and gather all the information you can on a subject and the options you are considering. Gathering data and seeking advice is the only way you can really asses the risk/rewards of the decision and make an informed choice.

However, if you allow research to become an excuse to avoid moving forward in one direction or the other the risks can be far greater than a misstep here and there. Opportunities have a way of coming and going very quickly and those who become paralyzed by the fear of making a wrong decision end up missing out on the greatest this life has to offer.

Mustering the courage to take a leap of faith and go with your instinct has an inherent risk but a life with no risk is in danger of being no real life at all. Now, don't misinterpret what I am saying here because I am not talking about being impulsive or reckless. I am also not giving you a license to make decisions that you know go against your standards and what you stand for simply because their might be some reward especially if that reward is as insignificant as having a good time while doing the wrong things.

Don't allow your life to become limited by fear of commitment either to people or to the causes that matter most to you. Do your research, pray about it and then start marching forward because any direction is normally better than no direction at all.

Love,

Dad

Anticipate the Journey and Learn to Love the Ride.

"Anyone, who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed. The fact is...Most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most marriages require a high degree of mutual tolerence, and most jobs are more often dull than otherwise.

Life is like an old-time rail journey, delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."

President Gordon B. Hinckley

I know at times enjoying the ride can seem like a nearly impossible concept and at times we even seem to enjoy sharing the difficulties of our life with others and find ourselves trying to out do others stories of woe with our own.

Its important to understand that challenges, difficult situations and emotionally trying times are critical to our growth and self development. In fact, we learn very little about ourselves during the easy times in life. This is not because there are not plenty of lessons to gain from as we experience our easy times in life. Its because during the easy times we don't feel pain or anxiety and go from day to day focusing very little on what is going on around us.

Everyone's goal should be to gain as much knowledge and perspective during our time here on earth. We should then focus our talents and abilities to bless others lives and help them become better prepared for the challenges they will certainly meet in the future.

I have found that one of the very best ways to be thankful for the "Ride" is to become actively engaged in helping others through their hard times. If we keep ourselves actively engaged in helping we will find that we don't have time to sit and feel sorry for the hardships we are experiencing and our lives feel more fulfilled.

It is easy to get frustrated with the never ending line of challenges and difficulties we will face in our lives and when people allow themselves to focus on these areas alone they become sad and bitter people who gain very little pleasure from life.

Truth is that life is difficult and those difficulties are truly blessings that help us grow into the people we want to be. Take the time to step back from your personal challenges and look around you. I am confident that while you do this you will see people with burdens much greater than your own. The perspective this gives will allow you to set aside feeling sorry for yourself and enjoy the overwhelming happiness that can only come from helping others who are in a time of need.

Keep this question in your mind and heart always. How many people have I reached out to and helped today? If we make sure that the answer to this question is at least 1 then the day was successful even if it failed in every other way.

Love ,

Dad

Journal Entry- How I met your mother.

If you haven't been following the whole blog I need to take a second to mention that my main purpose to creating this is to document all the things I really believe in and key events of my life as a point of reference for my kids in case a time comes when I am not here when they need the advice. I also want them to be able to relive some of the defining times in my life that I believe helped make me who I am today. I recently had someone ask me if they were intruding by following along. To this I just want to say that if you find any value in what I have put down then it makes it just that much worth while and comments are always welcome.

Now on with how I met your mother and why she is the perfect person for me.

I still remember our first real conversation like it was yesterday. We were working in a call center at the time and I had worked my way into a role as a verifier. Basically I would run around and confirm that the customer really wanted to buy what was being sold. Now you need to know that good old dad was never what you would call a ladies man. Looking back now I can see where there was plenty of interest thrown my way but I was so shy that I rarely recognized it and even if I did I certainly wouldn't have acted on it.

However my new found position of "authority" gave me some confidence and forced interaction with the always intimidating and terrifying female gender. It is important to note at this stage I felt that your mom was completely out of my league and always got nervous and felt very awkward every time I was around her. After several months in my new position I had generated some interest and had a few girls that were interested in me and started dating a couple of them.

As it turns out the two girls I dated most frequently knew each other a bit and both of them knew your mom. Pay close attention to the next few paragraphs as they detail some very risky decisions and ultimately how I hurt some people without intending to.

Things were going fine with my dating life and I was starting to feel better about my prospects of finding love and having some great relationships. As I started getting more comfortable with myself and gained some confidence that some women would be interested in my I began finding reasons to talk to your mom. (Side Note- Every time I talked to her my heart raced and I had trouble thinking straight.) Over time we would eat lunch together in a group of our friends until one day at lunch I got the guts up to ask if she wanted to go to a party at my brothers house that night...sweaty palms, heart frozen, can't breath, want to die...wholly crap did she really just say yes.

So here is where the full difficulty of my situation comes into play. Remember that your mom knew the other two girls I was dating at the time and they knew each other. Unfortunately I still hadn't connected all the dots yet and was now dating 3 girls at the same time who while not always the tightest of friends knew each other pretty well all along not knowing I was doing so. To add to this complicated situation I found out while planning the night together that a year or two back she had actually been a pretty serious girlfriend of one of the guys who had hung out with our group before I joined in. In fact she knew my brother and the rest of my friends pretty darn good too.

So quick recap, I now have a date with a girl who knows the two other girls I am dating and is the ex-girlfriend of a guy that I now see pretty often but wouldn't exactly call a friend and who already knows the people I hang out with and I have of course no clue. Yikes, I was going to have to be quick on my feet if I had any hopes of this going anywhere.

I forgot to mention that I had already put our date plans at risk while still at the lunch where I asked her out. When I realized that she used to hang out with the group I was now friends with we spent some time talking about all the guys. As we worked our way through each one we eventually reached her ex-boyfriend. I told her I didn't know him real well but he had some crazy stories about and ex-girlfriend he had and I told her a couple laughing as I did. when I finished the last story I asked her if she knew this psycho girl back when she knew the guys...why is she looking at me like that...why isn't she answering me...oh no! As the realization sunk in that she was the "psycho" girl I had just been talking about my heart dropped through the floor. Here I am this big dumb idiot who just ruined his shot with his dream girl before it even got started. After what seemed like forever she laughed a little and said things didn't happen exactly how I had told them and asked if I still wanted to take the psycho girl out that night. Heck yeah I did and we made our plans to meet up later that night.

The party went well and we started seeing each other pretty regularly after that. For me things were going great I was dating 3 girls had a job I was happy with and had a great group of friends to boot. The problem with situations like this is that sooner or later the universe is going to strike back at you and the worst is bound to happen. For me the worst started out very innocently. Your mom told me a girl she knew was having a party and asked if we could stop by, sure I said why not.

Little did I know that each step I took towards that house was a step closer to the most uncomfortable situation I could ever have imagined. You may have guessed by now that as I walked into the party holding your moms hand the first people we bumped into were the other two girls I was dating. I actually felt like my brain began vibrating inside my head from the initial shock of the situation and the crazy scramble of the options and possible outcomes for my next move. Before I could say a word one girl ran to the bathroom crying and the other walked straight up to us and said she didn't care but the other one really liked me and I had probably broken her heart.

I thought how could I have broken her heart we were just hanging out and I had never even mentioned that we should go exclusive or anything. An important lesson here is that men and women look at relationships very differently and to build a happy life its important to take the time to learn and appreciate these differences.

So decision time was forced on me and I didn't need to think about it at all. I had only been dating your mom for a few weeks but already knew that she was the woman I wanted to share my life and build a family with.

We ended up dating on and off for a couple of years until my initial feelings were confirmed and the girl of my dreams became my wife.

I think it's important for you to know why I love your mother so much and the things that make me know I will love her forever.

• Something about the way she looks at me makes me feel like I can conquer the world. A smile from your mother fills me with more confidence and determination to take care of her than anything else in the world.

• She has a heart and cares about people and things with an intensity that I cannot even begin to match. Her heart is so big and she loves so fully that you can't help but be drawn in by her.

• Watching her be a mom makes me love her more and more every day. She dedicates so much of her time and energy to making sure that you all have what you need in life. She has endless energy in caring for our family and seems to always know what we need even before we do.

• Her big brown eyes that captivate me and make me ache to know exactly what she is thinking.

• The way she constantly encourages all of us to take risks and grow in who we are. She confidently marches into new situations confident in her ability to thrive in any environment.

• The way she loves the Aitkens like they are her natural family.
• Her generosity with time and money, she always is looking for ways she can help
• She laughs at my stupid jokes.
• Her hand fits perfectly in mine.
• She stood by me when I was out of work and trying to find direction in my life.
• She stands her ground when she knows what is right.
• She forgives me when I am silly and insensitive.
• She tells me the same old stories over and over and over again.
• She really means it when she says I Love You.
• She cares about my health and wants to keep me around.
• Her skin is so soft and smooth.
• She actually likes to talk with me and will listen to my "Hero" stories.
• She is a girly-girl.
• Her hair always smells good.
• She makes me feel invincible.
• She misses me when I am gone.
• She tolerates my addiction to email.
• She is supportive of my career.
• She loves being a wife and mother.
• I love the freckles on her shoulder and the fact that I remember the camping trip that caused them.
  
• That she likes to collect scrap booking supplies more than scrap booking.
  
• She speaks about her grandparents all the time and tells our kids how much she still loves them.
• She turns on the light for my parents when she knows they are out late.
  
• She is passionate.
• Her laugh and smile.
• The fact that she has actually been stabbed. (It's okay it was in the leg and a long time ago.)

This list could go on and on but I want to sum it up with one last reason and that is because as time goes by I keep discovering more reasons why I love her and cannot imagine a life without her by my side.

I love you Candice,

Dave

Slow down to appreciate those who love you.

The world has a way of grinding you down with the daily onslaught of remedial tasks, constant challenges and the stress and pressure of everyday life. We have a tendency to get caught up in small problems and make them the focus of our existence ignoring the very reason we fight these battles in the first place.

The most valuable and sweet reward of life is the ability to love and be loved. Everyone has experienced that little rush of excitement you feel when you are doing something special for someone you care about and the anticipation of their reaction to your efforts.

When we spend a lot of time with people it is easy to let ourselves focus on the things they do to annoy us. We let the very small annoyances or habits cloud all of the wonderful traits that person has. Over time as we allow ourselves to focus on the negative parts of their personality or physical traits that quickly becomes all we can see.

Unfortunately, family members are not immune to this fact and often get the worst of the deal. The other thing we need to understand about ourselves is that we have the very same tendencies to focus on our own deficiencies and parts of ourselves we wish were different and we quickly forget the importance of loving who we are.

Like I said before its easy to allow the world to dominate our lives and distract us from the things that really matter. We live from problem to problem rarely taking the time to appreciate those who are cheering us on and pulling on the yoke with us. Take a moment right now to think about the people you love and the ones who overlook your weaknesses and love you even though.

Stop the crazy dash from problem to problem and spend some time really telling those special people in your life how you feel about them. Make a point to do something nice especially when it is unexpected. If you can focus on the wonderful points about a person you will find that the negative things disappear and will be a happier and more fulfilled person as you realize that you are surrounded by simply amazing and wonderful people.

Work hard to stop the habit of focusing on the negative. As you emphasis the positive things in the people you love you will find that those things magnify and the small annoyances almost become endearing.

Love,

Dad

Dinnertime, its not just about stuffing your face.

With the fast paced life we all live it is easy to start to see dinnertime as somewhat flexible. It seems as though our lifestyles have pushed us to eating our meals on the go with little to no family involvement.

This has poured over in the homes of many families where mealtime involves picking up your plate of food and then carrying on with whatever activity you were doing before. Many families have prioritized television over good interaction with each other and are doing so at a very high price.

Meal time is a unique opportunity we have each day to put away the outside world and focus on the people who should mean the most in our lives. As you take time to share your daily experiences, tell jokes, and enjoy each others company you are building bonds that will stay strong through your entire life. You will also receive important feedback and clues as to how your kids are doing in school, life and relationships and create wonderful opportunities to provide guidance and help them grow.

The simple act of eating dinner together helps to strengthen your relationships with your family and will make everyone more comfortable with approaching one another for advice or with a problem because its simply the way your family does things.

Don't allow yourself to save a few minutes by eliminating this from your daily routine. Not only will you be losing some important time to get to know each other, more importantly you will miss some of the most precious memories you could have.

Love,

Dad

Journal Entry- You'll shoot your eye out.

Hey Guys,

I was thinking that you might like to hear some of the experiences of my life from time to time along with the boring lecture type stuff.

Growing up in Randolph Utah there were certain things young guys were just expected to have and do. We moved to Randolph from SLC when I was around 7 and soon learned I was in a whole new world.

One of the things all the guys had was a BB gun and I was simply dying to have one of my own. I remember clearly the look on my mothers face when I told her about the gun I wanted and the dread I felt as she told me her answer without saying a word. She then went on to explain all of the really good reasons why a kid my age shouldn't have one. Of course this did little to sway my desires and I persisted for what must have been an unbearable amount of time over the next few months.

I don't know exactly what changed her mind but I know at the time my dad was not as opposed she was. I imagine I wore her down and between dad and my moms constant desire to make us happy finally won out and I received my gun that Christmas.

The rest of the Winter was spent dialing in my aim in the back yard shooting targets for hours on end. An interesting side note to that first Winter was how tight money was. I got very good at setting my targets up in a way that would allow me to gather the BB's up after and reuse them.

After a long cold winter of target practice the time finally came to go shooting at some pot guts (rodents) with my friends. We loaded up in the back of my friends parents old pickup truck and about 10 minutes later we were dropped off in a field to begin our hunt.

I still remember the excitement I felt as we hiked up into the field and the determination I felt to show off my newly developed skills to my friends. As we passed through the gates to the field we noticed some large sprinkler pipes used to water the farmers fields. Knowing this would be a good hiding place for our intended targets.

In hind sight the next move was pretty stupid and put a big exclamation point on why kids shouldn't have guns especially without supervision. As I walked to one end of the 20 foot pipe my friend went to the other. We both looked through our ends of the pipe and sure enough there was what we were looking for. I told my friend to step aside because this one was mine. He did so and I took my first and only shot at a live animal. I predictably missed and stepped back to reload, during my slow reloading process my friend grew tired of waiting and decided to take a shot of his own.

As it seems to happen in life he chose to fire his shot right as I stuck my eye up to the pipe to prepare for my next shot. Unfortunately for me my buddy loaded his gun with a pellet rather than the traditional BB. A pellet is shaped in a cone so that it capture all the air from the rifle. In addition pellets are heavier so this combination creates a projectile that travels much further with a higher velocity than a regular BB.

The next few moments went by very fast and it took me some time to realize what happened. I remember looking through the pipe, seeing a flash and feeling a lot of pain. My first thought was that I had just got my eye shot out and fear shot through me like I had never experienced before.

My friends ran over knowing I had been hurt by the what I am going to say manly scream I let out. So there we stood a bunch of kids 7 and 8 years old in a field trying to figure out what in the world we were going to do. There was a lot of blood running from my eye area and after probably 10 minutes I still didn't dare actually open my eye. It was during this really confused scene that I turned my head to look towards town and had the most painful and strange experience. As I looked towards town a strong wind picked up and I felt like I had been stabbed by a needle straight through my brain. I also heard a sound like blowing into an empty bottle but much quieter.

When I finally got the guts up to open my eye I was overwhelmed by relief that I could still see out of it. The pellet had hit me about a quarter of an inch above my left eye and had actually created a hole in my skull. We all laughed with relief and spent another hour or so shooting our guns and and retelling the story.

As the time came to get picked up we realized that we were going to have to tell our parents what had happened and our time as hunters would be brought to an end. It was at this very desperate moment that I had a strike of genius and formulated the plan that would save our necks and more importantly our beloved guns.

This is one of the only times I have lied to my mom and this experience taught me how dangerous dishonesty can be. My brilliant plan was to tell our parents that I had stumbled while walking and as I fell I hit my eye on the site of the gun. This would explain the cut, the blood and actually cover any bruising that would occur.

As I expected my plan went off without a hitch and we skated out of troubles way without even a lecture. I even got a little extra attention that night which in a family the size of mine was not easy to come buy. I went to bed thinking of how smart I was and how smoothly I had averted trouble.

The next couple of days went buy without event and we began to feel like we were in the clear. Again, life has a way of catching up to you when you aren't doing the right things and the situation changed in a quick and very dangerous manner.

You see we had assumed that the flash I saw immediately after I was hit was the pellet flying out bouncing off my thick skull. If that were the case the plan I laid out would have went off without a hitch. The problem was that the pellet had actually buried itself deep into my skull and lodged there. This would be problematic on its own but it became further complicated by the fact that the pellet was made of lead and started causing major swelling and irritation in and around my left eye. I can remember hoping with all I had that the swelling would just go away but after a few days knew I had to come clean and tell my mom what had happened before it got any worse.

I can remember how scared, embarrassed and ashamed I felt telling the story as it had actually happened. I felt terrible for lying to her and didn't know how she was going to react, I was sure that it wasn't going to be good regardless.

this is one of the many times my mom surprised me as she snapped into action and rushed me two hours to SLC to the hospital. There was no screaming and yelling or long talks of disappointment just action and determination to make sure I was okay.

I was taken to Primary Childrens where they took an X-ray that clearly showed the pellet lodged in my skull. At this point we found out just how lucky I was because any number of factors would have caused the damage to be much worse and even fatal. The pellet had stopped about a millimeter before punching all the way through and lodging into my brain. This meant that if the pipe would have been just a few feet shorter I would have been in serious trouble. If the shot would have been a quarter of an inch lower I would have certainly lost my eye and half inch higher would have lined it up with a thinner part of my skull where it certainly would have penetrated in to my brain as well.

the procedure was fairly simple to get the pellet out and the physical wounds healed quickly. The things that stick with me to this day are the emotional wounds caused by the dishonesty to someone who loved me so much and the stupidity of putting myself in serious danger by not listening to someone who knew more about life than I did. On top of that I took an even greater risk by not telling exactly what happened causing the situation to get much worse.

Ultimately I had to face the music and listen to my mom explain how scared she was and how disappointed she was in how I handled the situation. Nothing has ever impacted me like disappointing someone I love especially people like my mom and now my wife who are amazingly good and loving women. Of course I lost my gun from this situation and managed to prove myself responsible enough to earn it back a few years later. I never again shot a gun around others and the situation killed any desire I had to hunt for good.

The lessons I learned from this experience still serve me today. I learned that little white lies as they are called can actually turn into life threatening situations. I learned to listen more to people who have more experience than I do because it can save you a lot of pain. And most importantly I learned that a mothers love overlooks so much and is one of the most precious gifts in the world.

Love,

Dad

Words are sharper than you think.

I remember when I was little I learned a little rhyme that we would use when someone said something mean to us. It went "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me."

While it's certainly true that words cannot do real physical harm to another person we need to stay very aware that the emotional damage they can cause is often more painful and long lasting then most of the physical pain we will experience in our lives.

I have had my share cuts and bruises in my life and experienced some significant pain from car accidents and surgeries over the years. As I think back on these experiences I can remember a lot of details about each of them and even remember that they hurt at the time. What I cannot do is feel the pain as sharply as I did back then and have largely forgotten about it over the years.

I wish the same were true with the emotional pain I have felt over my life from kids teasing me when I was young to rejection and criticism I received in my adolescent and professional life. The major difference between physical and emotional pain is our ability to relive the full depth of emotional pain long after the events themselves have faded. You will find that emotional pain has a way of creeping back into your life even during good and happy times. Small things may trigger the negative feelings and drag you down with surprising speed and power.

To be a good person we have to consider the way our words and actions affect others. You then have to develop the character it takes to consider others feelings when communicating with them.

It is very easy to make others laugh by putting someone down or making fun of them for things as silly as what they wear, how they talk or simply what neighborhood they may be from. We find ways to tease others from the time we make our first friends right through to the end of our lives. Its surprising that we never seem to make the connection between how badly we feel when we are on the receiving end of these hurtful words and the pain we cause when we are the ones delivering them.

Over time we allow this hurtful nature to penetrate every aspect and relationship in our lives and build a reputation of someone who cannot be trusted. While we may laugh and have fun with someone who is tearing someone else down we are also wondering if they do the same to us when we are not there.

Over time these "jokes" build up resentment in our friends and family and ultimately erode our relationships down to a shadow of what they used to be. To be a good friend we need to spend our time building others up and making them feel good about themselves and their abilities. You will find that by focusing on the good things about people and speaking them aloud you will help that person realize their potential and build relationships that endure.

By taking the time to consider the emotional impact your words will have on others you also develop the ability to maintain control over difficult situations. When we let hurtful words enter into disagreements we build up walls and make it very difficult to find common ground.

You are responsible for building up your character and becoming a person that can be admired not only for your accomplishments but for who you are as well. A big part of this character is learning to control your words and present information in a manner that makes people feel good about you and try to understand your point of view.

Consider your words carefully and use them to build others up whenever possible.

Love,

Dad

The Art of War- Winning the relationship battles.

Arguing seems to have become an acceptable way to communicate for many people. In fact, a lot of families use raised voices and angry tones more than happy and loving ones. It is easy to understand why life gravitates this direction when you consider how different we all are as people and the stress and pressures we all experience in our daily lives.

We all have a tendency to automatically assume that our point of view is the only correct one and that if someone disagrees then they are either stupid and don't understand or are just trying to be difficult. The problem you will run into with this perspective is simply that your life experience really cannot provide a true understanding of all the options in the world.

In fact, the people who go at it alone in life and don't take the time to really understand another's point of view generally fall far behind those that do.

Now I titled this post the art of war and followed it with the word winning. It is important to understand that when I say the word win I do not mean that all disagreements will end in your favor. As hard as it is for us to admit many times we are the one in the wrong and need to adjust our behavior and apologize for our actions or thoughtlessness.

Our relationships with those we love need to be the most cherished of our possessions. It's amazing how often we take for granted the people in our lives that do the most for us and treat strangers or associates with more respect and kindness than our own family. This is an easy trap to fall into because we often feel worn out by life and don't want to take the time to properly package and communicate when we get home.

So what does all this have to do with winning? In my opinion the very best way to win an argument is to avoid it beginning it in the first place. I am in no way suggesting that you give in and give the people you love whatever they want whenever they want. Just like you sometimes they are just plain wrong and need to recognize that fact.

I am suggesting that there is a better way to get to this understanding and that is by learning to solve Problems together rather than allowing disagreements to pull you apart. The first step to showing love and respect is taking the time to listen and really try to understand the others point of view.

I want you to picture the face of the person you were last in an argument with, it shouldn't be too hard for most of us because it was most likely very recent. Really analyze their face and ask yourself this question.

"When I am speaking are they listening to me or thinking about what they are going to say next?" We all probably know the answer to this and unfortunately most are thinking about how they plan to respond.

Now I need you to honestly answer this question "When they are speaking are you listening to them or thinking about what you plan to say next?" If we are honest with ourselves the answer is likely that we are thinking about our next rebuttal to the argument.

The final question is simply "Does anyone really ever win an argument?" The sad truth to this question is that it extremely difficult to convince someone of your point of view when in a heated argument. The second our negative emotions take control of the situation the argument becomes more about not giving in and our feelings than the problem that started it all. We are likely to say things we regret in the heat of the moment and have to make amends afterward. Ultimately an argument ends with a statement like "fine do it your way" or "whatever" and the weaker person or the one less passionate about the issue gives up.

The person who got their own way will often feel like they have won but they don't take the time to count the costs of this type of victory. When you force your will on another person especially one who loves you a small piece of resentment builds up inside of them. Over time these small pieces that are harmless on their own pile up into huge mountains that kill love and destroy relationships.

So to really win we have to learn to approach our issues as a problem that needs to be solved together. As two people who love and respect each other sit down and discuss an issue doing their best to keep emotions from escalating out of control solutions can be found and agreements on a course of action can be made.

You also need to take the time to really consider the others point of view and try to understand why they see things the way they do. I think we have all had that experience in life when someone explains their point of view on a situation and a little light bulb goes off in our head. We will often say things like "I have never looked at it that way before" or " I have never seen it that way". We move forward from moments like these a stronger more intelligent person and build a better bond with the person who helped us grow.

If taking the time to see something from others point of view will often make us stronger and more intelligent it seems to make sense that we would want to seek out these opportunities as often as possible. The very least we will gain from this exercise is a better empathy for what our loved ones are feeling and a perspective that will help us explain our point.

The relationships with those you love and who love you really are the most important thing in this life. Love is not something we are entitled to because we were born into a family or worked hard early on to find a spouse. Love is the greatest gift someone can give you and deserves your very best effort to build and preserve.

Love,

Dad

It really doesn't matter how full the glass is.

A lot of people like to divide our world into those who view the glass as either half full or half empty. The point they are really trying to make is that there are people who look at life with a positive outlook and focus on the bright side of every situation. Then there are tthose who choose to look at the bad side of everything and end up building themselves a miserable existence.

The truth is that it doesn't matter how full or empty the glass is. What you really need to understand is that the magic is in being happy that we have the glass at all.

Look at it this way, the glass is our life and the amount of water in it at any given point represents the things we view as good and positive.

If you spend life focusing on the things you don't have (like the part of the glass that is empty) then all you will build for yourself is an empty life. The problem with this type of outlook is that the habit of looking at the empty part of our lives is very hard to break and you will eventually reach a point where you feel bad even when your glass is very full.

The reverse is also true, if you spend all of your time focusing on the good things and blessings in your life you will find that you can appreciate the times when there is very little left in that glass and be grateful for what you do have.

Life is a wonderful gift we have been given and it is ours to do with what we choose. The easiest way to have a successful life is to learn to appreciate the wonderful people and blessings you have. Spend your time looking for people who have situations that are more difficult than yours and offering them a hand up. You will find that your perspective and attitude stay on a good course and your heart will remain full as you help others.

If you spend your life always looking at those who have more than you, wondering why or feeling like you have been cheated. Then that's exactly what you will get, cheated out of all the great things that were happening all around you. You will ultimately feel bad about yourself and your situation. This turns people into bitter and miserable beings that spend time trying to drag others down.

Dad

Peaks and Valleys- The art of pushing forward.

Hey Kids,

This blog is written for you and any others who stumble on it. My hope in writing this is to share with you the things I have learned to this point and share some of the great things life has to offer even when times seem difficult. Over time it will become more and more clear that our lives are full of peaks and valleys. The peaks are the great times when things seem to be going our way and its easy to feel happy and content with life. The valleys are the more difficult times when there are problems with family, school, work, friends, money, whatever.

One of the great truths of this life is that we are constantly traveling forward and will experience many of these peaks and valleys over the years. The peaks are wonderful and like I said before its easy to take for granted all the beautiful experiences we go through. Unfortunately these wonderful times are always interrupted with the valleys (bad times) of life and recognizing the good and beautiful times while in these valleys becomes difficult.

The trick is to take the time to recognize that no matter how hard the challenges of the moment may seem, you really are pushing forward towards the next peak and happier times. To have a happy life we need to understand that happiness is in our perspective and how we choose to look at the challenges we face. It's true, it is a lot easier to see all the wonderful things in life while you are standing on the peaks. It is even easier to focus on the difficulty of the journey while we are down in the valleys of life. During hard times its common to allow yourself to indulge in feelings of hopelessness and depression that will cloud all the good things around you.

No matter how big the challenge or daunting the problem there is always more good in life than bad. We just need take the time to set the issue aside and focus on what is good in our lives. Problems are never as bad as they seem while in the middle of them and taking a moment to gain perspective can really help.

I clearly remember a time early in my career when I was really stressed about some issue that has since been forgotten. After expressing my stress and worries to a wise friend and mentor he interrupted me and said that he wanted me to answer a question. The question was simply "What will any of these problems matter a hundred years from now?" The truth is he could have changed the 100 to 2-3 years and it wouldn't have changed the answer. The truth was that it wouldn't matter and I needed to take some time and readjust my priorities and stress management skills.

When I am faced with challenges now the first thing I do is ask myself is this a problem or a catastrophe. In life we have both but the emotions required by each should be very different. Often we face the problems of life with the emotions of a catastrophe and that clouds our ability to focus, think and ultimately perform. Sometimes life throws genuine catastrophes our way and they can be very painful and difficult to get through. The loss of loved ones is really the only thing I see as a catastrophe anymore because they cannot be regained during our time here. I also view this as a catastrophe for those left to live without them as they certainly have found something better.

The rest of life is full of problems and they can be relentless. However, how you face a problem makes all the difference in the world to how well you work them out and how long you have to endure the challenge. The process of problem solving is surprisingly easy and simply needs you to keep your head and take action. My personal plan at handling a problem no matter what area of life I am focusing on is the same. The first thing I do is write the problem down and create two columns. In the first column I list the worst case scenarios of the problem along with the spin-offs of the issue. In the second column I list all of the solutions I have at my disposal and what each of the will take to execute. Often my solutions column feels a little wanting and I start to worry what I will do next.

At times like these it is important to have an established network of mentors in your life that will have experiences and insight that I simply do not have. A simple discussion with people you love and trust will usually open doors you never even realized were there.

Once you have everything down in front of you it is much easier to select a course and go to work. The biggest key to fixing problems is to start doing something constructive to point you in the right direction. If you spend your life doing the same things over and over then it is silly to expect that anything will change for the better.

So during life's valleys look around and recognize all of the great things and people you have in life who love you. When you are up on the peaks of life make sure you take some time to stop, look around and appreciate all of the great and wonderful things you are blessed with.

I love each of you more than you can understand at least until you have kids of your own.

Love,

Dad