Peaks and Valleys- The art of pushing forward.

Hey Kids,

This blog is written for you and any others who stumble on it. My hope in writing this is to share with you the things I have learned to this point and share some of the great things life has to offer even when times seem difficult. Over time it will become more and more clear that our lives are full of peaks and valleys. The peaks are the great times when things seem to be going our way and its easy to feel happy and content with life. The valleys are the more difficult times when there are problems with family, school, work, friends, money, whatever.

One of the great truths of this life is that we are constantly traveling forward and will experience many of these peaks and valleys over the years. The peaks are wonderful and like I said before its easy to take for granted all the beautiful experiences we go through. Unfortunately these wonderful times are always interrupted with the valleys (bad times) of life and recognizing the good and beautiful times while in these valleys becomes difficult.

The trick is to take the time to recognize that no matter how hard the challenges of the moment may seem, you really are pushing forward towards the next peak and happier times. To have a happy life we need to understand that happiness is in our perspective and how we choose to look at the challenges we face. It's true, it is a lot easier to see all the wonderful things in life while you are standing on the peaks. It is even easier to focus on the difficulty of the journey while we are down in the valleys of life. During hard times its common to allow yourself to indulge in feelings of hopelessness and depression that will cloud all the good things around you.

No matter how big the challenge or daunting the problem there is always more good in life than bad. We just need take the time to set the issue aside and focus on what is good in our lives. Problems are never as bad as they seem while in the middle of them and taking a moment to gain perspective can really help.

I clearly remember a time early in my career when I was really stressed about some issue that has since been forgotten. After expressing my stress and worries to a wise friend and mentor he interrupted me and said that he wanted me to answer a question. The question was simply "What will any of these problems matter a hundred years from now?" The truth is he could have changed the 100 to 2-3 years and it wouldn't have changed the answer. The truth was that it wouldn't matter and I needed to take some time and readjust my priorities and stress management skills.

When I am faced with challenges now the first thing I do is ask myself is this a problem or a catastrophe. In life we have both but the emotions required by each should be very different. Often we face the problems of life with the emotions of a catastrophe and that clouds our ability to focus, think and ultimately perform. Sometimes life throws genuine catastrophes our way and they can be very painful and difficult to get through. The loss of loved ones is really the only thing I see as a catastrophe anymore because they cannot be regained during our time here. I also view this as a catastrophe for those left to live without them as they certainly have found something better.

The rest of life is full of problems and they can be relentless. However, how you face a problem makes all the difference in the world to how well you work them out and how long you have to endure the challenge. The process of problem solving is surprisingly easy and simply needs you to keep your head and take action. My personal plan at handling a problem no matter what area of life I am focusing on is the same. The first thing I do is write the problem down and create two columns. In the first column I list the worst case scenarios of the problem along with the spin-offs of the issue. In the second column I list all of the solutions I have at my disposal and what each of the will take to execute. Often my solutions column feels a little wanting and I start to worry what I will do next.

At times like these it is important to have an established network of mentors in your life that will have experiences and insight that I simply do not have. A simple discussion with people you love and trust will usually open doors you never even realized were there.

Once you have everything down in front of you it is much easier to select a course and go to work. The biggest key to fixing problems is to start doing something constructive to point you in the right direction. If you spend your life doing the same things over and over then it is silly to expect that anything will change for the better.

So during life's valleys look around and recognize all of the great things and people you have in life who love you. When you are up on the peaks of life make sure you take some time to stop, look around and appreciate all of the great and wonderful things you are blessed with.

I love each of you more than you can understand at least until you have kids of your own.

Love,

Dad