Be Brave always

I think this picture says it all and in my humble opinion is full of tools that are used against us by others both seen and unseen to hold us back from being all we can be.

One of the main things we have to master in this life is to be brave always. We will all be faced by challenges and times when we fill like we are not up to the hard times we are up against. It is easy to allow ourselves to fall into self pity and wonder why is this happening to me or why we have to face the problems we do.
It would be ridiculous to think that our lives are going to work out so smoothly that you will not face hard and even tragic times. In fact its during the tragic times that we learn the most and grow to become better people.

Greatness is established by how we approach our challenges and what we do with our attitudes during them. Your life is full of choices and the decisions you make will not only define who you are. They are going to define the type of life you live. Problems are inevitable, the truth of the situation is that you can approach them with dread, disdain and fear or you can be happy, appreciate all that you do have and recognize that life is full of seasons and this bad one will pass just like all the others.

One decision leads you to negative emotions, bad attitudes and hurting those around you. The other leads to respect, confidence and ultimately happiness. Regardless of the route you choose the problem exists until you overcome it so why not keep your mind and attitude in a productive place and approach your challenges in a brave, confident and enthusiastic fashion.

Love,

Dad

What I learned from the monkey bars.

Last night I had one of those very vivid dreams that put me back into my childhood so completely that I could have sworn my adult life must have been a dream.

The experience I was reliving must have when I was 6 or 7 years old. I found myself standing on a wood deck with a row of bars stretched out before me way above my head. My heart was pounding and I have to admit I was a little afraid of what I was about to do.

I had seen a lot of people succeed at the task before me and many of them told me its easy just jump up and do it. I also believed that it may be easy for them but I had some very bad experiences in the past when trying new things like this so it I felt like I may not be up to the task.

As I stood there weighing the risk/benefit of the task before me I decided I just wasn’t up to it, stepped down and sulked away feeling embarrassed by my failure. The day stretched on and I couldn’t get my mind of the failure and the way I had let something that was meant to be fun beat me. I felt terrible, embarrassed, insignificant, like I was not as good as everyone else and I hated the feeling.

After a little probing from my big brother I became determined to take the challenge on, I had to do this to prove to myself that I could and to others that they were not better than I was (by the way I now realize they could care less because they were too busy worrying about their own short comings).

So I found myself standing on that platform again, staring at those bars trying to muster the guts to jump off and trust my abilities to make it happen. After a long time I finally closed my eyes (blush) stuck my arms up and jumped with all I had. Relief washed over me as I felt the bar hit my hands and then my weight settle in, I had done it I was hanging there. Now, I just had to open my eyes and take the next step.

If I would have known the situation would get so much more intense once I got a hold of the first bar I am not sure I would have taken that first leap because as I opened my eyes I realized I had made a bit of a mistake. By jumping up and holding on to the first bar I had allowed myself to lose my forward momentum. I dangled there like an idiot until my grip gave out and I fell to the ground.

That fall was important to me because I quickly learned that I would survive it. So I went back up on the platform, took forever to make the first leap again, caught the bar with both hands and freaked out again when I realized I had to let go with one hand to move forward. Are you nuts, let go with one hand while swinging forward holding and trying to hold on to the other, I pictured myself over rotating and landing on my head effectively breaking my neck. This may seem like a silly thought for someone this young but ask my brother, this is who I have always been and has earned me the name of “safety patrol” amongst my snowmobiling friends.

So again I dangled there until I lost my grip and fell to the ground, grrrr. I was determined to not walk away again because of the way it made me feel so I forced myself back around, climbed back up and prepared my leap again. This time I did something a little different and actually planned my next move after the first leap. So when I jumped and grabbed that first bar I immediately reached forward for the next one (eyes tightly closed) and to my surprise I caught it. It was great except that I didn’t let go of the first one so I now dangled between the two stuck as can be. I fell to the ground again and worked my plan to include the next move and the next and finally found my way successfully to the other side.

I know that conquering the monkey bars seems like a pretty silly thing but a lot of the most important steps in overcoming difficult situations can be learned from things that are very simple and seem somewhat insignificant at the time. Lessons I learned from this experience include:

- Sometimes situations force us to close our eyes, trust ourselves and leap.
- You can’t move forward without first letting go of the past.
- Momentum is a key to successfully navigating our challenges. (You have to keep swinging forward)
- It is a guarantee that we will experience some failure. Do you give up and walk away or dust your pants off and hit it again.
- The greatest rewards come after some trials forcing us to stretch our current abilities. (The other platform felt like heaven when my feet finally hit it)
- And most importantly sometimes you just need someone to boost you up and give you the confidence to move forward.

Finally its important to remember that the difficult and challenging parts of life are the ones that we learn the most from. More importantly its how we handle ourselves during these difficult times that makes us great.

Love, Dad

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Its time to quit squandering your life away!

Fortunes can be lost and regained, love can be rekindled and friends reunited, however once time passes it can never be recovered and your greatest regrets will nearly all coincide with time that was mishandled or simply lost in indifference.

Our natural instinct seems to be to live our lives from one major event to the next. All the time in between these big events seems to be turned into a chore we must endure in order to reach that next great occasion.

The sad truth of living your life this way is that the really exciting parts of life are few and far between. This leaves us wasting the majority of our time here wishing our life away in order to get to the next "Exciting" event.

It seems silly to waste your precious time drudging through the day to day always wishing life will hurry by so you can have those exciting moments. Its interesting to watch people who have really had to face their own mortality. They often seem to have an ability to gain pleasure and fulfillment from the simple yet most important things life has to offer.

Sure that next vacation or promotion will be exciting and fun but they will do very little to fill your heart with the joy and happiness you will receive from spending time appreciating your family or doing something to make others lives a little easier.

The next time you find yourself wishing life would hurry along so that you can have that next fun event please take a moment and connect with a loved one or extend a hand to those in need. You will find that time passes much faster and that your greatest memories are actually the time you spent in between the "big events" of life.

Journal Entry- The Killer Goose!

I imagine when you think of your top 5, 10 or even 50 scariest animals a goose finds a way to miss the cut, right?

Well grab that bowl of popcorn and snuggle up closer to that loved one because the following experience will show the real side of these terrible birds.

It must have been the summer of either '02 0r '03, the day was warm and I remember feeling like the world was really turning my way. I spent the drive into our Murray office reflecting on some big steps we had made with the Web Design project we were test marketing and felt we had found our niche. Like I mentioned the day was warm and as I stepped out of my car I remember hearing the birds singing and thinking that life is really good. Now in my life it seems like the times when I am feeling this way there is always a reminder or two that life is meant to hold challenges and that we need to stay on our toes to survive.

On this particular day that reminder came in the form of a huge goose and I mean this thing was really, really big. So as I started making my way through the parking lot listening to the birds singing and considering all the positive things in my life I noticed this enormous goose standing about 20 yards away from me.

My first thought was "wow that's cool, what a huge goose. My second thought was "holy crap that things trying to kill me!" I will never know if their was something in the way I looked at it or if it just had issues with really fat guys in a suit and tie but whatever it was didn't matter because this beast was running, flapping and squawking at me with an anger I haven't seen before or since.

So I have heard that when faced with life threatening (Ha Ha) situations your body floods with adrenaline and you mind kicks into fight or flight mode. So here is where I would like to tell you that I turned around and stared that goose down and later served goose to my family while regaling them with the story of Man over goose.

Like I said that is what I would like to tell you, unfortunately the this blog is about truth so here is how it really went down. Remember the scene, I am a large man (okay fat) dressed in a black suit complete with dress shoes walking through a parking lot with a stupid smile on my face as I contemplate dominating the web design world. As I listen to the birds sing I notice this goose about 20 yards away and think "Wow that's cool, what a huge goose." quickly followed by "holy crap that things trying to kill me!" My body gets an adrenaline boost and its time to.... run as fast as my fat body will let me.

And run I did my friends, I can still hear my slick bottom dress shoes slipping on the asphalt as I pushed off to get away from this fierce beast. I can still see the look in that things beady little eyes as it chased after me with wings flapping and beak squawking out its murderous cries. Step by step I made my way to the sidewalk and down towards the office door, step by step this mass of squawking and flapping was gaining on me and I felt for sure my time was up. Just as I started to give up hope I reached the doors and dived through slamming the doors to ensure my safety.

The goose was still after me and stared me down through the glass daring me to take even the smallest step out that door. Yeah right, I was safe at this point and was going to make sure I stayed that way. I quickly went to my office and sent an email out to the company sharing my harrowing tale and warning them of the dangers that lurked right outside our office.

I have a copy of that email in my office and I will add it next week when I get back into the office,


Just a warning whether the goose is a real one or involves your underwear they are rarely a good thing.

Love,

Dad

Grudges and negative feelings lead to a long lonely road.

One thing you can be certain of in life is that people are going to do things to either disappoint, anger or offend you. We live in a world that is full of many different people with different points of views and very different experiences. To hope that you will go through this life without either being hurt or hurting others is unreasonable so it is imperative that we learn how to forgive and how to ask to be forgiven for our own missteps or shortsightedness.

When people offend or hurt you it is easy to let hard feelings creep into your life and allow negativity to over ride your ability to look at the situation with fairness and a proper perspective. When negative feelings fill your heart it is important to take a moment and reflect on the situation before you respond to avoid saying something that you may later forget. Some of the questions you need to consider include: Is it possible that they really see things the way they are conveying them? How important is this person to me, should I kill the relationship or do I need to work through the issue? Have I hurt this person in a way that might cause them to strike out at me? Is it possible that they do not intend the remark to be hurtful?

If the concern is with someone that you love or need to continue your relationship then it is imperative that you act. Too often we decide to just let it go and move on, unfortunately this plan will only allow resentment and anger to build over time until emotions finally win over and relationships are damaged further. It is far better to sit down with the person and explain how you feel about the situation so you can talk through the problem and truly put the problem behind you.

Remember that your friends and family are the most important things you will ever gain in this life. Don't allow silly misunderstandings and immature frustrations ruin your most cherished relationships.

Love,

Dad

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FInding Joy in your life- Stop complaining already.

Sometimes I really miss the early years of my life when everything seemed possible and I believed that the world held only good.

Of course this perspective has to change as we grow up and see the dirty reality of so many parts of life. As time passes it becomes easier and easier to become discouraged or even depressed by the tragedies and disappointments of everyday life.

On top of the daily challenges we seem to be compelled to always compare our lives and situations to others who have it better than us. We wonder why they have the nice house and cars while we "endure" life with the '"meager" things we have earned or been blessed with. In fact it seems like the tendency to look up rather than down has little to do with income bracket or position in life. No matter how good people have it they seem to always be able to find someone with a life better than theirs.

I have to admit that I spent the majority of my first 34 years on this planet looking up and wondering the same things. I had the same feelings until I spent my first week in Haiti and realized just how desperate and disheartening life can really be. From the very moment we arrived in Port Au Prince I knew my perspective in life would never be the same again. I quickly realized that even the most humble circumstances in the U.S. would be viewed as living like a king for most in this impoverished land.

I witnessed people that were living in the most desperate conditions where food and water are a constant battle. Children are dying from starvation and people constantly get sick from something as simple as a glass of water that is often filled from filthy gutters.

It took me too long to gain perspective and understand where happiness can always be found. So many chase happiness by shopping, drinking, drugs and constantly moving from relationship to relationship. These things may have the ability to make you happy for an instant but will do very little to help you gain the true and sustainable joy that comes from helping others.

Nothing will make you feel as good as grabbing the hand of someone who is struggling and providing them the assistance they need to either improve themselves or simply survive. I personally will never forget the feeling of holding children that were literally dying in my arms, it simply broke my heart. I will also never forget the feeling of signing the first of many checks going to the orphage that have been so generously donated by my staff.

As you focus on helping people who are in more difficult circumstances than your own will help you keep perspective and go through your life with a full heart knowing that you are doing good things with your time. Love is found in service and opening our arms and hearts to people who are less fortunate than we are.

Find a cause, find someone to help or at very least look for little actions you can do to make someone elses life a little better each and every day.

Love,

Dad

Priorities- Its easy to let other responsibilites ruin what really matters.

I could write more than you would ever want to read on the importance of prioritizing your life properly but I will try to limit myself to those things that mean the most in life.

Money sucks, the constant pursuit of money whether it be for survival or the ever popular pursuit of happiness consumes many lives and destroys marriages and families. As you go forward building your careers it is easy to allow yourself to become consumed by your professional life and justify your neglect of your family as the necessary side effect of being a good provider. While providing for your family is certainly a huge priority in life it is important to remember that your family needs your love and understanding far more than all the toys money can buy.

As I reflect back on my life I have a hard time remembering the stuff I so cherished back then. the things I remember are so much more important and guide my life today even after 20+ years. I remember going to work with my dad and spending hours on the road talking about everything you could imagine. The hours we spent recounting the history of a certain area or even discussing the impact a person could have by going back in time and having something as simple as a watch with them. During these precious moments in my life I never really cared about the fact that we didn't have a lot of money. In fact stopping at a gas station and microwaving a really bad burrito just added to the experience and to be honest every now and then I heat one of those gut bombs up and get feel happy as I recount the time we spent together.

My mom has always tried to make time for each of us as well. The truth is being the mother of six "Aitken's" requires a woman with the talents and love that only my mom could offer. We are a very demanding group who seem to think we are entitled to a bit more than is really deserved. As I look back now having kids of my own I think I understand a little better how difficult it must have been to keep up with us all and stay positive during difficult financial times and the certain loneliness she must have felt as dad spent weeks away working to keep our family moving forward.

I can't imagine how hard it must have been to be in a small town hundreds of miles from your family trying to keep up with six very active kids all by yourself. The things I remember is a mom who never complained to us about it. I remember a mother that never involved us in the financial struggles all families seem to go through and parents who always took their arguments to a private place where we couldn't overhear. My parents have always put their kids first by either sacrificing their own wants to pay for little league or drill team to making sure we felt like we had everything in the world even when times were difficult.

The true blessings of my parents properly prioritizing their lives is the fact that my family is still as close as they come. Their sacrifices taught us that family is the single most important thing in life and that we all have a responsibility to look out for each other. Their influence will affect Aitken's and others for generation after generation as grand kids and great grand kids and even great great grand kids follow the parenting pattern they have set.

I cannot express to you kids the importance of staying close with each other. I have no greater friends than my family and know that no matter what comes my way in life I have a huge team behind me ready to help me get through it.

Our inheritance is in our never ending love for each other and the example your grandma and grandpa Aitken set in how to properly prioritize your life and how to really raise a family that loves each other.

Life is full of distractions including work, money, play and the everyday stresses of just making it through the day. Your grandparents have set a wonderful example of properly addressing those concerns but making sure that they keep the real purpose and priorities in life in focus.

Kolbie, Kaleb,Payton, Nerlande and Yonelson, I want you to know that my brothers and sisters are the most precious friends I have. I am very proud of each and everyone of them.

Your Aunt April is one of the most loving, creative and artistic people I have ever known. So many times through my life she has stepped in and made things possible when I most desperately needed them. The amazing thing is that it didn't matter if it was something as insignificant as a Halloween costume or as important as her last few dollars she has always been willing to give whatever she had to others when they needed it. Kids, take time to learn charity and kindness toward others from her. She has always been such a huge part of my life and I hope that as we all go forward she will continue to be a huge part of yours as well.

Your Uncle Jeremy has always been my hero as big brothers have a tendency to be. he is a wonderful example of determination and will never fail to be there when one of us needs him. He is amazingly talented both with his hands and his mind and has blown me away with his ability to grow and learn things most people never understand. I really don't know that you will find another person who can go out into his garage and completely fabricate a motorcycle on the weekend and then go into the office and perform as one of the most talented and capable President/COO's of a 20+ million dollar business in the world. Your Uncle Jer is one of the most amazing examples of never giving up and not setting limits on yourself that you will ever find. He fought his way from a set of circumstances that would have spelled doom for almost everyone and has achieved more than most ever will. When all the world would have predicted failure he built himself into an amazing success.

Your Aunt Elisa has a capacity to love that has always amazed me. She is simply one of the very strongest people I have ever met and that is one of the reasons we have asked her to be your guardians if anything ever happens to mom and me. Her ability to love, thrive and work to improve herself through whatever challenges life throws at her is exactly the example we would want you to follow as you work to grow into the men and women we hope you will be. Aunt Eli also has the ability to love everyone as if they were her own and we know she would make sure you had everything you needed and all that we dreamed you would have.

I have always been amazed at the natural talents and abilities that your uncle Mike has. All of those amazing abilities have paled compared to the man he has proven to be since his coma. I don't know that any of us will really understand all that he has and will have to go through to regain the level of performance he once had. I can tell you however that Mikey has carried himself in a way that can only be described as noble and I find myself having another hero brother in my life. I hope you can remember the fact that Mikey never seemed to say why me or back down from the very difficult tasks of learning to walk, talk and even swallow again. I hope you remember how he stayed determined to be a champion in all he does including every single difficult step of this journey. If I tried to tell you that I could have been half the man your uncle Mike has been through something as difficult as this I would simply be a liar. Look to your uncle Mike to learn how to win, watch how he gets up and tries again no matter how many times a jump, life or even a coma tries to knock him down. He is a champion and you can be too if you learn to never give up, Mikey has mastered the never give up attitude and I hope you all learn to win from him.

And last but not least is your Aunt Carrie. I have always felt that Carrie was a little too sweet and kind for this world. She has one of the most sweet and pure hearts you will ever meet. She is incredibly talented in music and art allowing her to be the only member of my family to excel at playing an instrument. I always felt like she deserved a trophy like Mikey for her performances and hope she understands how proud I was watching her play on stage. She is a perfect example of love and acceptance and how you should carry yourself in this life. Take the time to learn tolerance and forgiveness from Carrie as she is the best example of those two traits I have ever met.

As you can see my brothers and sisters are not only amazing in their own rights but create an unbelievably strong team when all their talents are brought together. You are from an extremely strong family and there is a lot of responsibility that comes with being an Aitken. The great thing is that those responsibilities are also the greatest blessings you will ever receive in life. You are responsible to each other and for looking out for each other. You have to be examples of love, kindness and an example to the rest of the world on how one should conduct their life.

I love all of you so much and don't worry about you becoming the people you are meant to be. You are all very amazing people with talents that will take you very far.

Remember that prioritizing your life properly will allow you to remain happy through even the most challenging times in life.

Love,

Dad.

Mentors- The shortcut to success.

Some get caught up in the idea that they want to figure everything out for themselves. They hold on to a dream of breaking their own trail and finding success without the help of others.

While there is a lot of satisfaction that can be taken from this approach to life there is a better way to go about it. Mentors have been critical in my life, they have taught me so many things that took them years to learn and I have had the opportunity to jump ahead in my abilities and knowledge by piggybacking my ideas on top of their experience and guidance. You would do well to find mentors for every area of your life but especially when preparing to become a parent and in your career.

Mentors are people who have been successful in the areas you are just starting out in and people who are willing to share that knowledge with you. You can go at life pounding your head on the wall to figure out a problem or have a mentor show you where the door is. You can risk making some terrible mistakes raising our children or refer to a mentor to get a more experienced point of view.

The quickest way to find success is to reach a hand out to those who are already there and convince them to teach you all they know. You also have a responsibility to give that same hand up when people look to you for your experience and guidance.

Remember that we are all in this together.

Love,

Dad

Procrastination will destroy your life and steal your happiness.

Life is full of difficult problems and jobs that we really don't want to do. Our natural tendency is to avoid the difficult tasks and put them off over and over again until we are finally forced to face them or suffer consequences worse than the difficulties the job entails.

This attitude of procrastination and our constant desire to avoid the challenges in life does nothing but further complicate problems and will even increase your stress level and destroy your ability to enjoy life.

Procrastination and avoiding problems or difficult tasks will inevitably lead to stress, anxiety and pressures that wear you down and destroy happiness. Think about the times in your life when you had to do something you didn't want to do.

Almost without fail the process of dealing with difficult jobs or assignments follows the same course. It starts with the stress and worry of tackling the issue until you finally can't take it anymore and just get it done. You experience some discomfort and unhappiness while completing the task and then always feel much better after it is complete.

The amazing thing about this process is that the end result doesn't matter. The situation can work out wonderfully or some of the worst results possible may become reality. The fact is that either way you will feel better once you put the situation behind you and are now empowered to either move on or enjoy the fact that the job is no longer hanging over your head.

The hardest part of addressing a difficult situation is taking the first step. Generally once we are in the process of actually doing the work we realize that it was not as bad as we thought and often regret not handling it earlier because of the stress and pressure we have endured.

One of the keys to being happy is having the guts to tackle the tough parts of life first. If you have a job to do or a conversation to hold that you really don't want to complete you should make it a priority to clear off your To Do list as your very first action.

Allowing yourself to endure stress, pressure and dread in order to avoid a problem or particular job is self defeating and ultimately robs you of your life and happiness.

Now get out there and get it done.

Love,

Dad

Look all you want but sooner or later you have to leap.

Your life will be filled with decisions, some of them are very simple and have little if any impact on your life. These decisions range from which soda to have or where to eat lunch. Others will be a lot more important and have lifelong repercussions. How you handle the big decisions will steer the course of your life

It is critical to take the time to research your big decisions and gather all the information you can on a subject and the options you are considering. Gathering data and seeking advice is the only way you can really asses the risk/rewards of the decision and make an informed choice.

However, if you allow research to become an excuse to avoid moving forward in one direction or the other the risks can be far greater than a misstep here and there. Opportunities have a way of coming and going very quickly and those who become paralyzed by the fear of making a wrong decision end up missing out on the greatest this life has to offer.

Mustering the courage to take a leap of faith and go with your instinct has an inherent risk but a life with no risk is in danger of being no real life at all. Now, don't misinterpret what I am saying here because I am not talking about being impulsive or reckless. I am also not giving you a license to make decisions that you know go against your standards and what you stand for simply because their might be some reward especially if that reward is as insignificant as having a good time while doing the wrong things.

Don't allow your life to become limited by fear of commitment either to people or to the causes that matter most to you. Do your research, pray about it and then start marching forward because any direction is normally better than no direction at all.

Love,

Dad