Journal Entry- The Killer Goose!

I imagine when you think of your top 5, 10 or even 50 scariest animals a goose finds a way to miss the cut, right?

Well grab that bowl of popcorn and snuggle up closer to that loved one because the following experience will show the real side of these terrible birds.

It must have been the summer of either '02 0r '03, the day was warm and I remember feeling like the world was really turning my way. I spent the drive into our Murray office reflecting on some big steps we had made with the Web Design project we were test marketing and felt we had found our niche. Like I mentioned the day was warm and as I stepped out of my car I remember hearing the birds singing and thinking that life is really good. Now in my life it seems like the times when I am feeling this way there is always a reminder or two that life is meant to hold challenges and that we need to stay on our toes to survive.

On this particular day that reminder came in the form of a huge goose and I mean this thing was really, really big. So as I started making my way through the parking lot listening to the birds singing and considering all the positive things in my life I noticed this enormous goose standing about 20 yards away from me.

My first thought was "wow that's cool, what a huge goose. My second thought was "holy crap that things trying to kill me!" I will never know if their was something in the way I looked at it or if it just had issues with really fat guys in a suit and tie but whatever it was didn't matter because this beast was running, flapping and squawking at me with an anger I haven't seen before or since.

So I have heard that when faced with life threatening (Ha Ha) situations your body floods with adrenaline and you mind kicks into fight or flight mode. So here is where I would like to tell you that I turned around and stared that goose down and later served goose to my family while regaling them with the story of Man over goose.

Like I said that is what I would like to tell you, unfortunately the this blog is about truth so here is how it really went down. Remember the scene, I am a large man (okay fat) dressed in a black suit complete with dress shoes walking through a parking lot with a stupid smile on my face as I contemplate dominating the web design world. As I listen to the birds sing I notice this goose about 20 yards away and think "Wow that's cool, what a huge goose." quickly followed by "holy crap that things trying to kill me!" My body gets an adrenaline boost and its time to.... run as fast as my fat body will let me.

And run I did my friends, I can still hear my slick bottom dress shoes slipping on the asphalt as I pushed off to get away from this fierce beast. I can still see the look in that things beady little eyes as it chased after me with wings flapping and beak squawking out its murderous cries. Step by step I made my way to the sidewalk and down towards the office door, step by step this mass of squawking and flapping was gaining on me and I felt for sure my time was up. Just as I started to give up hope I reached the doors and dived through slamming the doors to ensure my safety.

The goose was still after me and stared me down through the glass daring me to take even the smallest step out that door. Yeah right, I was safe at this point and was going to make sure I stayed that way. I quickly went to my office and sent an email out to the company sharing my harrowing tale and warning them of the dangers that lurked right outside our office.

I have a copy of that email in my office and I will add it next week when I get back into the office,


Just a warning whether the goose is a real one or involves your underwear they are rarely a good thing.

Love,

Dad